


Burnt Cardboard and Half a Will to Live

by rageisnotemo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Keith is too hot, M/M, Memes, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Pretty much a shitpost, Texting, enjoy my bs, im crying, im dead inside, keith loves spaghetti, klance, lance is smitten, mild shatt, my horrible humor, normal whats that, pidge loves hot pockets, shiro loves kool-aid, texting au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:45:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11892249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rageisnotemo/pseuds/rageisnotemo
Summary: Takashi Shirogane @spacedadshiroKEITH AND LANCEHunk G. @officialhunkSITTING IN A TREEgrilled cheese and Lance @lanceylanceHUNK I TRUSTED UPidge-Kitten @hotpocketpidgeK-I-S-S-I-N-Ggrilled cheese and Lance @lanceylanceno I just like milkshakes guys okayTakashi Shirogane @spacedadshirospecific milkshakesHunk G. @officialhunkones by the name of Keith KoganePidge-Kitten @hotpocketpidgekINKY[updates monthly]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> yeah um
> 
> I did a thing
> 
> this is based mostly off of the crazy conversations I have on a day to day basis and the fact I have no self control

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

guysssss its fridayyyy

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

??? What?

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

the day has arrivrd

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

hOLY SHIT GUYS KEITH MADE A TYPO HES EVOLVED

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

no I didn't shut up

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

I can confirm, but this is not his first typo

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wHAT

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

ARE YOU CEREAL??? HOW MANY  _ @ _ spacedadshiro

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

No, no no no, shiro, we talked about this

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

It was inevitable, Keith. Broski. Lettuce of my sandwich.

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I hate you. Olive of my pizza.

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

hOW DARE YOU

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

OH SHIT’S GOING DOWN @ hotpocketpidge yOU GOTTA SEE THIS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I AM SEEING THIS, ITS AMAZING @ officialhunk @ alluracrown @ coranicmanic get ur asses on here

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

What happened this time?

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

oh my god

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

I've been summoned???

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

nono nothing happened, ignore them

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

KRITH FINALLY MADE A TYPO IN FRONT OF US

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

I see many typos from the applesauce of my corndog

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

oH YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

THAT DOES NOT GO TOGETHER

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

Ooh, the food insults are back, I see?

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

I AM LEGITIMATELY OFFENDED

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

OH MY GOD IM CRYGINSHAJ @ garrisoncryptid @ shirospacedad

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

THATS IT, RANCH DIP OF MY MILKSHAKE

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @shirospacedad

HOLY FUCK KEITH SJSKSKSKAK

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

We all know the milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, especially @ lanceylance

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

SHSHSHHHHHHH NO UR NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

What? I don't understand???

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Ooooo~ some modern romance is happening

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

KEITH AND LANCE

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

SITTING IN A TREE

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

HUNK I TRUSTED U

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

no I just like milkshakes guys okay

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

specific milkshakes

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

ones by the name of Keith Kogane

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

kINKY

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

hOLY SHIT DID I JUST SEE A LIGHTNING STRIKE OUTSIDE AHAHAHA

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

we live in the same neighborhood, Lance. Also, Keith is blushing and mumbling something about kissing, send help

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

uhhh

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I think you broke Lance @ spacedadshiro

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

HOLY FUCKISBSG SHITOLI

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wHAT

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

LANCE JUST RANG THE DOORBELL IM CRYGNSGSSJ

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

OH MY GOD

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HOLY JESUS

 

_ Takashi Shirogane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM SCREAMING DID HE JUST

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I THINK THIS IS THE LEAST SMOOTH IVE EVER SEEN LANCE LMFAOOO

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

I gotta admit, him panicking and raising his hand for a fist bump is easily the best thing I've seen today

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

LANCE IS BLUSHING HARDCORE IM LAUGHINGSJSJN FUKC

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

I know this is interfering, but I'm going to push them together

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

No one gives a shit about interference anymore, go ahead

 

_ Takashi Shirogane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HOOOLY SHIIIIT YES

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

ITS CANON BITCH TREES

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

bITCH TREES IM CRYINGJSJSJSKS

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

okay I gotta admit this was wilder than expected

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

I would have gone insane if they waited any longer tbh, thank u shiro for making klance canon

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

What are these weird ice cream things in the freezer they look like pink corndogs

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

How high are you @ alluracrown

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

tumblr

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oH SHIT

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

guess who's back

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

back again

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

klance is back

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

We're dating

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I cant believe we got video’d by @ spacedadshiro

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

and I can't believe how pretty your eyes are @ garrisoncryptid

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

you asked me for a fist bump, McClain. yaint smooth.

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

IM LAUGHING SO HARD

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

we can tell, I can hear u from the other side of the fucking house

 

_ Keith ko-gay-ne (@garrisoncryptid) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wHAT THE LIVING FUCK

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

tHATS A LAUGH???

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

oh thank god it switched to wheezing

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

Okay but- I have one question @spacedadshiro

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

shoot

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

who tops, @ garrisoncryptid or @ lanceylance

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

They're making out rn and I can confirm Keith is top

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wHAT

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

but if you look at it scientifically both are tops because there is no girl in the relationship

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

so does that mean they take turns

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

CHANGE THE SUBJECT

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

Is French Fry Friday still on or

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Fuck yeah, it is

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

wouldn't miss it for the world

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

bitch French fries are my will to live at this point

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

French fries are best invention, fight me

 

_ Hunk G. (@officialhunk) sent a photo. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

DAMN THAT LOOKS FANCY

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

Honestly can't remember the last time I've been this hyped

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

MMMMM THATS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

rIGHT THERE

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

MMMMMMMMMHMMMMM

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

GOOD SHIT

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I regret scrolling up

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

WHY DID YOU SCROLL UP YOU KNOW HOW SHITTY OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I DONT FUCKING KNOW

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Anyway

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

hey @ garrisoncryptid how the fuck did you get so good at kissing

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

you're adorable @ lanceylance

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

aaaaand I'm out fam cya at the French fry meeting

 

_ Takashi Shirogane (@spacedadshiro) is offline. _

 

_ Hunk G. (@officialhunk) is offline. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Lmao I need an outfit brb

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) is offline. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Alright fuckers I gotta get my car, cya

 

_ Allura (@alluracrown) is offline. _

 

_ Coran (@coranicmanic) is offline. _

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

keithyyyyy boyyyy can I borrow your jacketttt

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I thought u had one?

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

but I want yours because it smells like you

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I'll trade

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

YAYYYYYY

 

_ Keith ko-gay-ne (@garrisoncryptid) is offline. _

 

_ grilled cheese and Lance (@lanceylance) is offline. _

 

Friday 12:37 pm

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

This is the 49th time I've seen Lance smell the jacket he’s wearing

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

theyve been cuddling since they got in the car

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

Fluff overload?

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Pretty much

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

put the fucking phone down you're the driver @ alluracrown

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

The car hasn't moved yet

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

You're such a dad @ spacedadshiro

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

No, I just want us all to not get in a car crash

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

Its true, shiro. You're a dad

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

I can't believe I just saw @ spacedadshiro get rekt by his own brother

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Daaaaaamn

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I can't believe you two are cuddling and texting at the same time, what the hell

 

**grilled cheese and Lance** @lanceylance

magic

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

and I can't believe we're all texting instead of actually talking to each other. We are in a fucking car together.

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

shit u rite


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday 10:27 am

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

its been day two in this hellhole

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

food is scarce, and the quantity of PDA has been increasing

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I fear this may be the end of my reign of terror

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

the hell are you on about?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

the gays are here, I must go

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

noooo, you're going to miss the daily ceiling pencil challenge

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

the gays have made an offer. I am unsure whether to risk my life and trust them, or hide behind this nearby stack of chairs

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

Remind me why you three signed up for musical theater?

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

I dunno, ask Lance

 

_ Keith ko-gay-ne (@garrisoncryptid) sent a video. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM YELLINGJSJSKSKSK

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

OH MY GOD THE PENCIL FELL ON HIS FACE IM LAUGHGIN

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OH MY GOD KEITH YOU GOT FOOTAGE OF THAT ILY BRO

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

guyssss its not funny, my nose is in pain

 

**Keith ko-gay-ne** @garrisoncryptid

you're the one who made it a challenge to throw pencils at the ceiling trying to get the original pencil down

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

also @ lanceylance you change ur username every day what the hell

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

its called being indecisive. And it only happens once every couple days ok

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm sure Loverboy here would back me up

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I mean maybe if you gave me a plate of spaghetti I would

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oh come on, you sided with me last week when Lance put extra milk in the biscuits in Culinary Arts and they melted to a block of whatever that was

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

My limit for siding with someone is once every three weeks

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

hA

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

okay fine, I'll give you spaghetti

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

@ lanceylance you do change your username a lot

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

WHAT

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

NOT FAIR @ hotpocketpidge

 

_ Takashi Shirogane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

oh shit, I almost got my phone taken I'll text u back later

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OH MY GOD

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

DID LOTOR JUST GET BITCH SLAPPED BY ACXA

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

I CANT BREATHE AHAHAHAHAHA

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

W A S T E D

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

hey @ spacedadshiro what are you gonna do without your phone, pass notes?

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

I mean, I guess

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

what if the note gets spotted? Do you even have a plan for that

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

Of course I have a plan, its called ‘panic and eat the note’

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

wHY AM I LAUGHING

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

what if the note’s written in pen? You don't want ink in ur stomach

 

**Takashi Shirogane** @spacedadshiro

Its 2017, who writes in pen?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

literally everyone

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

You write in pen, shito.

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

SHITO OMG WAS THAT ON PURPOSE IM WHEEZING

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

fight me nyall

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

NYALL NYEED NYEESUS

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

PRAISE NYEESUS ANEEM

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

HOOOO MY GOD

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

I leave for one hour and this happens

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

rest in pieces

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

why is your username ‘Loverboy’

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

uhhhh

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

he never stops flirting with Lanve

 

**Lance is not here** @lanceylance

‘lanve’

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

laNVE

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

nO STOP

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

l a n v e

 

**Lanve from Starbicks** @lanceylance

Its called ‘friendly fire’

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

the ‘friendly fire’ was more intense toward me and turned into ‘sexual desire’ @ lanceylance

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

Aaaaand there's all the explanation I need, see you guys in Biology

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OH MY GOD KEITH THERE ARE KIDS HERE (@ spacedadshiro )

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

IM AWARE MY BIRTHDAY IS ON A LEAP DAY IM NOT SIX

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

there there, I think little shiro needs a nap

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

WHEEZIBSJJSSK

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Does shiro is six? Sources say yes.

 

**Lanve from Starbicks** @lanceylance

holy shit I can't breatheeee lmaooo

 

_ Lanve from Starbicks (@lanceylance) sent a video _ .

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM SO DONEEE

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

no, I am not 666 years old either, thank you Keith.

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

are you sure about that

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

It's more of a would you rather, shiro. 6 or 666?

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I hate nyall

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Oh shit, teacher spotted us, gotta nyoom

 

_ Keith ‘Loverboy’ K. (@garrisoncryptid) is offline. _

 

_ Lanve from Starbicks (@lanceylance) is offline. _

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) is offline. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

rest in piss

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

HWEEZIGN


	3. Chapter 3

Sunday 9:26 am

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

guys. Guys holy shit

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

what's up babe

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

HFJDJSKKKKSKWKWS

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

okay so this is my first time being dragged to church because Shiro’s grandparents invited me wHAT DO I FUCKIN WEAR

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

‘dragged to church’ same

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

you wear clothes

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

nO SHIT SHERLOCK

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

if you have anything other than black, wear that

 

_ Keith ‘Loverboy’ K. sent a photo. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

except that. Seriously, who the fuck owns ratchet orange shorts

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I think I just threw up in my mouth a lil

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

they're not that bad @ alluracrown

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

Keith, honey, I love you, but please never wear those shorts in public

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

those are like, construction guy orange, Keith. borderline neon

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

cross out borderline its fucking neon

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

okay okay assholes I have some blue jeans and a plaid red shirt

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

yes omg send a pic

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

lance, ur thirsty is showing

 

_ Keith ‘Loverboy’ K. sent a photo. _

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

that's probably the hottest thing I've ever seen I'm mcfucking dying

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

in normal people language, you look socially acceptable. Good job m8

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

thanks guys

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

alright guys we're going to tumble into the car now, any last wishes

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I wish for a will to live

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

I wish for Keith to step on me

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

o h

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

kinky

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I have taught you well

  
  


Sunday 10:03 am

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

wait what we're eating what now

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

its just grape juice and bread that tastes like paper

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

wait if we're eating the ‘blood and flesh’ of Jesus, isn't that technically vore

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OMFG

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

AHAHHAHAHAHAH I CANT BREATHEEE

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

what the fuck keith

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM CRYING IN THE CLUB HSJSJSKSSK

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

Keith, you fucker, you're not allowed to just slip the grape juice thing in your pocket

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

but shiiiiroooo I hate grape juiceeee

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

eat ur fucking juice

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

drink*

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I know what I said

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I only drink the tears of my enemies and sometimes lance’s-

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OH MY GOD

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

;)

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

and this is the 84th innuendo thanks guys

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

yOURE KEEPING COUNT????

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

holy shit this guy won't quit

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

what happen?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Lotor’s trying to force his way into our group chat. I've been fighting him off for the past ten minutes

 

_ Prince Lotor (@legolotor) has joined the chat. _

 

_ Prince Lotor (@legolotor) has left the chat. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

son of a bitch hold on

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

LEGOLOTOR IM CRYIGN AHAHAHA

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

ah shit I think I know how he’s getting in

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

do tell

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I saw Lotor look at my phone a couple times, he might have picked up our group code with his friends

 

_ Acxa (@acxaaxxel) has joined the chat. _

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

wait we just wanna talk

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

you're okay, but not Lotor.

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

sorry he’s kinda blackmailing us

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

wait what

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

Its a long story I don't even know what he wants from you honestly

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

for your sake I suppose I'll let him in

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

thank you so much

 

_ Prince Lotor (@legolotor) has joined the chat. _

 

_ Ezor (@extraezor) has joined the chat. _

 

_ Narti (@notnarti) has joined the chat. _

 

_ Zethrid (@zestyzethyy) has joined the chat. _

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

holy shit

 

**Narti** @notnarti

‘Loverboy’ huh?

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

that's my boyfriend back off

 

**Narti** @notnarti

wasn't trying anything I was just surprised

 

**Ezor** @extraezor

wow this chat is goals tbh

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

...thanks?

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

i feel blessed just seeing this chat

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

how many of you are actually with lotor and how many would bitch slap him if they got the chance

 

**Ezor** @extraezor

I'm on team bitch slap

 

**Narti** @notnarti

team bitch slap over here

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

guess who actually bitch slapped him

 

**Zethrid** @zestyzethyy

team lotor

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

okay looks like I have one (1) friend

 

**Zethrid** @zestyzethyy

I'm only doing this for my lunch money tbh

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

fucking rekt lmao

 

**Ezor** @extraezor

Maybe if you didn't blackmail everyone you meet, you would have friends @ legolotor

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

why do that when you can blackmail people to be your friends

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

this is why everyone hates you, lotor

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

oooo burn

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

yeah whatever anyway I'm here to convince Lance to be my boyfriend for like a week

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

WHAT

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I don't care who you are, prince loser, but you ain't getting my boyfriend

 

**Acxa** @acxaaxxel

PRINCE LOSER IM WHEEZING

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

‘convince’ as in blackmail

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

if you refuse I'll leak the group code for this chat

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I could just… delete this chat and make another one? this isnt threatening like at all

 

**Narti** @notnarti

lmao get fukt lotor

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

uggghhhh I need to convince my dad I'm telling the truth when I say I'm bisexual, work with me

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

uhhh yeah first of all you shouldn't ask someone who’s already in a relationship and second of all, ask them instead of blackmailing them

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

That'll take weeks, I need the solution now

 

**Zethrid** @zestyzethyy

ur a fuckin idiot lotor

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

ugh who let my cousin on here @ legolotor

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

yOU TWO ARE COUSINS

 

**Prince Lotor** @legolotor

ew who invited my cousin

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

yeah okay I'm kicking y'all bye

 

_ Prince Lotor (@legolotor), Zethrid (@zestyzethyy), Ezor (@extraezor), Narti (@notnarti), and Acxa (@acxaaxxel) have been kicked from chat. _

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

okay some of them seemed generally nice, just saying

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

yes, but we can't risk them getting too close to us. Lotor might try and manipulate them and blackmail our squad.

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

speaking of which I'm changing the group code on this thing

 

_ The group code has been changed from ‘420fucklotor’ to ‘yeetmeoffacliff6969’ _

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

oh my gOD

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

IM CRYIGN LMAO

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

FCUKC THE JESUS GUY CAUGHT US ON OUR PHONES

 

_ Keith ‘Loverboy’ K. (@garrisoncryptid) is offline. _

 

_ Takashi Shitogane (@spacedadshiro) is offline. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

rip

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

god has come for their phones

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

let there be WiFi

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

you aren't even religious

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

tru but my parents are so I have a lot of useless info

 

Sunday 11:26 am

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I'm

 

_ Takashi Shitogane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM LAUGHGIN

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

did they just drop Keith on the floor instead of in the water

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

rip Keith got dropped

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

rip Keith got dropped I'm cryignsjsjsk

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

fuck I tripped over my own foot

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

rip shiro got dropped

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

this is our new inside joke isn't it

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

probably

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I'm legit dripping rn I didn't sign up for this

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

‘dripping’ huh

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

lance no

 

**Meme dealer Lance** @lanceylance

k i n k y


	4. Chapter 4

Monday 6:58 am

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.**

I feel robbed of my 12 more hours of sleep

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

same

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

why is it that this woke me up but my three alarms didn't

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

because we're just that great

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

oh god I just realized how much I hate this brand of cereal

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

WHY DID YOU PICK THE BRAND YOU HATE KEITH IM WHEEZING

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I WAS TIRED AND I COULDNT TELL THE DIFFERENCE OKAY

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

KIETH PLEASE DHDJSKA

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

god this cereal is so weird

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

wHY ARE YOU STILL EATING IT KEITH NO

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

ughhhhh its exam day do me a favor and yeet me off a bridge

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

no ones getting yeet’d off anything

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

my soul is empty tho

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Y’know, ‘this bitch empty yEET’

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

its exam day and I need y'all alive because I didn't study shit

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

you are all disappointments

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

fuck you too

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

you people are definitely not morning people

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I want d e a t h

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

someone find shiri’s will to live

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

shiri

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I am not a phone

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I'm laughing so hard

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

oh shit I just remembered @ lanceylance do you wanna go to the movies with me after school

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

g a s p its a date

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

y e s

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

knowing you, you're just going to stare at Keith instead of the movie @ lanceylance

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

fukc I've been called out

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Fuck i wrote down the wrong locker combination   
  
**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

You can use my locker i dont need it today because its an A day

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

not to ruin the bonding moment here, but shiro’s having a kool-aid relapse

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid   
DAMMIT NOT AGAIN

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

WHO GAVE HIM KOOL-AID POWDER

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

fjkaghjfkdhgd hyper shiro scares me a lil

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oH SHIT HE HAS HIS PHONE

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

HDSKJAHFEADHFJKHDSJKHKDSHJ

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

DSHFJKSHDFKJDSHKJFHSKDFHKJD

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I CAN TASTE NUMBERS AND HEAR COLORS

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

oh no

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

AHAAAAAAAaaaaAAA FOUND YOU

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

YOU MOYShERFUCKER ASDjk U TOOK MY CHEEZ-ITS

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

nO I DIDNT

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

Oh shit wait they’re still here

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

kEITH FUKCKC SHIRO WONT LET GO OF MY LEG

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

HE CALLED ME A CHEEZ-IT IM

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Wait guys i gotta test if shiro is still exam ready, if not we gotta fake his death

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

QUICK SHIRO WHATS THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I GOT THIS

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

A SQUARE PLUS B SQUARERE EQUAL C TRIANGLE

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

SHIT WE GOTTA FAKE HIS DEATH

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

IM KIDDING ITS A SQUARED PLUS B SQUARED EQUALS C SQUARED

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

ALSO KEITH IS GAY

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

WELL OBVIOUSLY

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

kEITH KOGANE IS GAY?! ALeRt thE mEdiA

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

Ugh kool-aid powder burns fucking put me out of my misery

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

oH MY FUCKING GOD YOUR TEETH ARE SO RED

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM SCREAMING SHIRO LOOKS LIKE A VAMPIRE

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

OR A FUCKIN CANABAL

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

If hes a ‘canabal’ that means shiro’s secretly a can and eats other cans

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

hO MY GOD DJFJKLSDFJDFKLADJFKLSJDl

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

F U C K SHIRO WON’T LET GO OF THE LOCKER I NEED HELP DRAGGING HIS ASS TO CLASS

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Also @ lanceylance why the hell is your locker filled with empty water bottles and capri-suns

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

uhhhhh gotta blast

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

wait if you stay I'll give you kisses

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

FUKC HE KNOWS MY WEAKNESS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

tHE PDA HAS SPREAD TO CHAT DHSJKSKSKSKL

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @shirospacedad

yesterday on the bus they kept yelling ‘I love you’ back and forth to each other over and over

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @shirospacedad

if anything they're going easy on you

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

holy fuck okay you win

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

fuCK EVERYBODY ELSE

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I RESPECT YOU

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

you spend too much time on tumblr

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

can't argue with that

  
  
  


Monday 9:38 am

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

oH MY GOD KEITH I HAVE A STORY

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I HERE

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

so you know how I always take a cup of water upstairs before I brush my teeth

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

this time there was a fucking spider in it and I deadass threw the fucking cup instead of screaming

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

you didn't scream? That's new

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

no but like,,,, thats not even the weirdest part

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

the mug didn't even fucking break

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

w h a t

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I'm not even shitting you rn the cup had a church on it I think its a holy mug

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

A HOLY MUG IM LAUGHGIN

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IT DIDNT BREAK ITS LIKE,,, JESUS GUARDED THE MUG

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

DUDE THE MUG IS REINCARNATED JESUS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

hOLY SHIT JESUS REINCARNATED INTO A MUG

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

JESUS MUG

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I woke up from my major sugar crash for this?

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

bUT JESUS MUG

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I have so many questions but no way to ask them

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

shiri I swear to god

 

**Takashi Shitogane** @spacedadshiro

I

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

alright guys imma take another power nap

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

TAKASHIT SHIRIGANE IM WHEEZINGSJSKSKS

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

YO WHAT THE HELL WHEN SHIRO WASNT CRASHED ON KOOL-AID IT WAS TAKING SO LONG TO GET HIM TO CHANGE IT

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I can't believe I'm saying this, but shiro needs to eat 12 packets of kool-aid more often

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

HE ATE TWELVE?!?!

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

that I know of, yes

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

I can't believe he isn't dead, twelve packets is unhealthy, bro

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

granted, this group has survived worse

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Keith tried to eat a bucket of ice cream at Allura’s house when she was going through a breakup and we tried to comfort her

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Keith is l a c t o s e intolerant

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I AM NOT LACTOSE INTOLERANT I AM THE MOST LACTOSE TOLERANT PERSON I KNOW

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Keith no we've been over this, you tried to drink a gallon of milk once and we had to go to the hospital

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

THE TEACHER SAID TO DRINK MORE MILK

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

you're such a teacher’s pet omg you could have just told them you're lactose intolerant

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

its called wooing the audience

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

the key to good grades is always making your teachers like you, which involves never arguing with them

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

you threw up like five times and they had to pump ur stomach

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

It wasn't because I was lactose intolerant

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

oh my god keith

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

the doctor told you you were lactose intolerant like ten different times

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

nO I CAN PROVE IT WHERES THE NEAREST PLACE I CAN BUY A CHOCOLATE MILK

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

kEITH NO


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sjjshdhejwkskd im sorry for missing an update i caught the flu and it was horrible I'm still recovering
> 
> rip my immune system got dropped
> 
> anyway I hope u enjoy this update

Tuesday 11:29 am

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

WHATS UP BITCH TREES

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

AYYYYYYEEEEEE

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

I FINALLY GOT MY PHONE FIXED

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

YOOO DUDE ITS BEEN A WHILE

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

How's college going

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

the teachers don't give a shit its pretty chill so far

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

hOLY SHIT THE LEGEND IS BACK

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

M A T T

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

OMG ITS HAPPENING

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

HEYYYYY

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

legend?

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Remember the old principal that everyone used to call ‘miss bitch’ and she was really bad at being a principal?

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Rumors say you and Shiro got her fired, and now you're a legend at this school

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Youvr achieved cRYPTID STATUS

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

holy shit and also did I just see you make a typo????

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

nope no typos here you must be hallucinating

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

wow okay Keith mister ‘I've never made a typo’ explain this

 

_ Takashit Shirigane (@spacedadshiro) sent a photo. _

 

_ Takashit Shirigane (@spacedadshiro) sent a photo. _

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

hHshsjsjajaajakaaaaaaaaaaa I'm being harassed

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

okay everyone let's back off of my boyfriend I think he’s aware of his typos

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K** . @garrisoncryptid

shsjjsksksksksksdmdkdkdksslsl

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

jk I love you @ garrisoncryptid

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

WHOA WAIT KLANCE IS CANON

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN OUT

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

yeah they got together Friday, you're really unlucky lmao ur phone broke on Thursday

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

d a m n

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

shiro can u show me the screenshots of when it happened

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I don't know will you give me kool-aid

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

but takahoneyyyyy

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM SCREAMINGSHHSJAJAJS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oH FUCK TWO COUPLES THIS CHAT IS SCREWED

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I'm cryin pidge no

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

this morning I was bored so I read the school handbook and it says ‘no excessive displays of affection’ what does that mean

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I think they just mean no making out or fucking on campus

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

o h

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

can't suspend us if they can't catch us

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

kEITH NO

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

HDHDJSJSKSKKDJFJDKDKDKS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

anyway uh good luck with that guys I'm gonna stay in any heavily populated place

  
  


Tuesday 12:48 pm

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

pidge what the fuck did you just give me

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

unwrap it

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

a hot pocket?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Shiro says you've never tried one

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

uhhhh

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

trust me

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

you sound like a drug dealer

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

WHEEZINGJDJSJSJ

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

hOLY FUCK HOW HAVE I BEEN LIVING WITHOUT THIS

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

LANCE YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

oh shit

 

_ Takashit Shirigane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

they're feeding each other its adorable and also I'm probably not gonna be able to finish my food they're overdoing the affection

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

tell me when its over so I can sit at the table

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

no suffer with me

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

also I lied about the food thing we have mcfucking apple slices and caramel

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

dID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY CARAMEL

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR CARAMEL

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

okay @ garrisoncryptid @ lanceylance you guys are a cute couple but stop making out in front of our lunch table plz

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

we kissed like twice

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

kiss after we eat

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

are cuddles ok

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

sure

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

okay but this just reminds me of that asterisk rawr asterisk XD vine

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

‘what have I raised’

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

The garrison meme duo have returned to chat from their three day slumber

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

*dabs*

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

asterisk glares asterisk

 

_ Matt (not a doormat) (@thatmattcat) sent a photo. _

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

I found some caramel in our apartment

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

MATT NO DONT LICK MY CARAMEL DIP I STILL NEED THAT

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

too late

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I hate you

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

you love me, takasweetie

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

i don't know why but I feel like they're trying to outcouple us @ lanceylance

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Is it because I haven't been creative with my pet names

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

Your pet names are fine, blueberry

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

aww thanks keithy boy

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

@ alluracrown yo can you do me a solid and just yeet me off that staircase right there

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

no @ hotpocketpidge I need you to help me not fail my exam

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Fukc

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

guys what happens if you poke lava with a stick

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

what the fuck I've never even seen lava

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Keith’s the lava expert here

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

I assume it gets burned

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I'm

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

science

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

not what I expected from science nerd Keith but okay

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

how did I not know about this until now I feel betrayed™

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

its because Keith doesn't want to admit™ that he is an overachiever™

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

fuckc

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

‘overachiever’ huh

 

**Keith ‘Loverboy’ K.** @garrisoncryptid

ah fuck i can't believe youve done this @ spacedadshiro

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

rip keith got dropped

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

fun fact shiro once fainted when he saw a spider

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

WHAT

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

OH MY GOD

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

he has severe arachnophobia

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

rip shiro got dropped

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

I've been laughing for five minutes plz spare me

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

this is the most betrayed I've ever felt

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you betrayed me three times you had it coming

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

please tell me you have more dirt on shiro

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I have tons, one time we went on this amusement park ride called the Zipper and shiro screamed so loud his voice broke and he couldn't speak until the next day

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM WHEEZING KEITH YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PERSON RIGHT NOW

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

nooo my repressed memoriiiessss

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

oH MY GOD THE ZIPPER I FUCKIN LOVE THAT RIDE I WAS ON IT LIKE TEN TIMES

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

SHIRO COULDNT EVEN HANDLE ONE TIME DJSJSKSKS IM DRAGGING YOU TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

yES THAT SHOULD BE OUR SECOND DATE

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

GUYS HOLY SHIT

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GOD

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

LOTOR TRIPPED OVER A METAL CHAIR AND ITS CLINGING TO HIS LEG I CANT BREATHEE SJSJSKKS

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM YELLING HDIIDKSKSKSKS

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I JUST FOUND AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE THIS INTO THE BEST MEME

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

S H A R E

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

SHOOTING STARS

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

sOMEONE NEEDS TO EDIT THAT SJSKSKSKS

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

I GOTCHU FAM

  
  


Tuesday 1:48 pm

 

_ Matt (not a doormat) (@thatmattcat) sent a video. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM YELLING

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

LMAOOOO

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

CRYING IN THE CLUB DHSJSKKL

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

THIS IS ART

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

asterisk dabs asterisk

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I WANT TO CRY WHERE DID THE ASTERISK MEME COME FROM JSKSKSKSLSL

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

memes are untrackable

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

except the rip keith got dropped meme

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OKAY IT STILL HURTS THO LIKE THEY MISSED THE WATER BY FIVE FEET WTF

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

you got hardcore rejected by the holy water

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

guys holy shit this means I'm a cryptid

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oh no not again


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so much schoolwork fuckc rip my life

Wednesday 6:04 am

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oh s h i t did I stay up all night

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

dude h o w

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I need at least a couple hours of sleep to live

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I love crying and being dead

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

same

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

as much as I love (hate) getting up at the butt crack of dawn, I will personally fight you if you make another tumblr meme

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

mmmmm not sure if I can do that

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm shook at your request, shiro, you know none of us has the skills™ or lack of crippling depression™ to refrain from memeing at a time like this, especially with all the discourse™

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

can I get uhhhhhhh better brother

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

o u c h

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

wHO HURT MY BOYFRIEND ILL KILL THEM

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

big mood

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

the killing part, not the boyfriend part

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

shiro ur dead to me

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I'm dead to myself

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm just gonna casually summon allura so I can build my team against shiro’s bullshit

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

HERE COME DAT BOI

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

O SHIT WADDUP

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I'm gonna be spawn camped I can sense it

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I'm on Keith’s side on this one

 

_ Lance Lance Revolution (@lanceylance) sent a video. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

lance

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

are you sharpening a fucking cucumber slice

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

its intimidating if I make it intimidating, allura

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

out of all the things you could sharpen you choose a motherfucking cucumber

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I will go through with my plan of fighting shiro behind dennu’s

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

d e n n u ‘ s

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

DENNY’S? WHOS SHE

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I ONLY EAT DENNU’S

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

IM YELLING

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

damn I've been teamed up on

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

typo once, shame on me

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

typo twice, also shame on me

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

there shall be no shame in this house

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

n o n e

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

dennu’s is my legacy

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I will stand behind it, and fucking 1v1 shiro

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I'm sorryy keithhh I didn't have any coffeee

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

gain my trust back by memeing yourself

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

d a m n get challenged bitch

 

_ Takashit Shirigane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

DID YOU JUST

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

NO NOT THAT SONG

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IS THAT FCKING JUSTIN BIEBER’S SORRY

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I want to stab you for two reasons now

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I was going to stay out of the discourse but shiro if you ever sing a bieber song again I will decapitate you with a pencil

 

_ Takashit Shirigane (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

okay that's an acceptable one

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

how did you get Matt to participate tho

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

bLADES ARE FOR SKATING, YOU DINGUS

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

ITS KINDA SNOWY

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

because matt’s whipped @ alluracrown

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

whipped?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

whipped- would do anything if love interest asked

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

in other words, he owns his ass

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

o h

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

i momentarily forgot since I crammed for like seven exams yesterday

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

s e v e n exams

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

h o w

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

it involves a mix of not having a will to live, 30 coffees, and an abundance of tears

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oh so my life then

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I get more and more concerned about you people every day

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

rip allura got dropped

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

I come back and everyone’s still bitching about exams smh

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

eXCUSE ME

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I will bitch about sun

I will bitch about rain

I will bitch about crying

I will bitch about pain

I will take my exam and shout

and let the truth fall out

because you see, my friend

there is nothing I can't bitch about

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

*stands up and claps*

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

truly a beautiful poem

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

can't see too busy crying because of the relatable™

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

okay I'm adding another mark to my ‘I need a hug’ list

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

so far I have like 48

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

who the fuck put an infinity symbol on here

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

someone did what ahahaha

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

it was you wasn't it

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I had a sYSTEM, shiro. a SYSTEM.

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I mean I would give Keith infinite hugs if he needed it

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

Keith, you need all the hugs

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

don't lie to urself

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

but the government is a lie

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

no one knows what's realdjskssk

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Keith r u ok

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

are any of us okay

 

_ Lance Lance Revolution (@lanceylance) sent a photo. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

hug ambush successful

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I scared him by accident and he screamed

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

UH EXCUSE ME I DO NOT SCREAM

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

you d i d

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

if you wanna see who really screams then maybe later we could-

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I feel violated by looking at that sentence

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

HDJSJFHJSSKKAKS K E I T H NO

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

this entire chat violates like all my boundaries honestly

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

what's the innuendo count now, allura

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I don't fucking know

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I lost count the second Keith and Lance started dating, nothing is accurate

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

rip innuendo count got dropped

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I'm having a c r i s i s

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

the fucking pick-up lines I memorized are nowhere near as good as the shit Keith comes up with like holy shit I'm deceased

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

little does he know, Keith is weak for pick-up lines

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

fuCK IVE BEEN OUTED (again)

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

I even have an example

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

you have a what now

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

that time you were drunk and tried to flirt with Keith (you said he was hot multiple times and dropped some sort of pick-up line that didn't make sense tbh)

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

Keith spam-texted me the next day yelling about how you used a pick-up line on him and how he'll be pining forever

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

my entire point in life is to have all my secrets exposed by my brother isn't it

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

DJDJDJSKSKSRIDDKKS

  
  
  


Wednesday 9:27 am

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

uGHH I HATE TURNING TESTS

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

musical theater?

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm about to fucking fight this teacher if she says ‘T pose’ one more time

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO PERFECT THESE HHHHHHHH

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

tHATS IT

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

oh no he’s arguing with the teacher

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

what the hell he's actually winning

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

THE TEACHER CHALLENGED HIM TO DO A PERFECT TURN OTHERWISE WE HAVE TO DO 30 MORE IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

 

_ Lance Lance Revolution (@lanceylance) sent a video. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

HE FUCKING DID IT

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

MY BOYFRIEND IS A GOD

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

SPICY BOI KEITH STRIKES AGAIN

 

**Science nerd Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm good at winning things out of spite

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

also thanks for the new user

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

H O W TF DID YOU DO THAT

 

**Takashit Shirigane** @spacedadshiro

AT HOME YOU FELL LIKE EVERY TURN

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

have I ever told you guys shiro used to be obsessed with fairy tail

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

W H A T

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

HDHDHSJSJKS

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

he bought three posters and a fucking necklace and always drew the symbol on his arm

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

he made me dress up as Natsu for Halloween

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

SHIRO U FUCKIN WEEB

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

well shit I've been #exposed

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

S H I T SOLOS ARE TODAY IM

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

SOLOS JDJSKSKSSL

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

s h i t

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

FUCKC THIS IS THE SOLO I WANTED HOLD ON GUYS

 

_ Spicy boi Keith (@garrisoncryptid) sent a video. _

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

god I love his voice hshdjsjskks

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

aww thanks keithyyy boyyy

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

no no I memorized this but I don't wanna do it

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

D O I T

 

_ Spicy boi Keith (@garrisoncryptid) sent a video. _

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

u talented fucker why were u even nervous

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

don't speak too soon, its ur turn Keith

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

NO NO NONO NO

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

keithyyyy we all know how much you want this solo

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I love ur voiceeeee plz

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY STOOD UP JJKSKSKSLLS

 

_ Lance Lance Revolution (@lanceylance) sent a video. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I GOT THE CHILLS F U C K

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

FUCKC I ALMOST BLACKED OUT HALFWAY THROUGH IM NOT EVEN SURE IF I GOT THE WORDS RIGHT SHHJJSKSKSKSKDM

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

HOLY SHIT KEITH UR VOICE IS AMAZING WTFSGSHSJ

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

AAAJAJDJSJSKSKDKSKKSKS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

IF SHE DOESNT PICK U FOR THE SOLO IMMA RIOT

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM CRYINGHA YALL HAVE BEAUTIFUL VOICES I CANT SING WITHOUT IT SOUNDING LIKE I PUT A PLASTIC FORK IN A GARBAGE DISPOSAL

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

dare I say

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

DING DING DING DINGDING DING DINGINGG

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

Either way its still art

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

u has good singing voice don't lie to urself

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Keith is good child I'm love him

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you're like one year older than me

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

my child

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

also @ lanceylance what are ur intentions with my son

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I wanna marry Keith and love him forever

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

WHAT THE FUKCKC THATS ADORABLE

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I JUST AWWED REALLY LOUD IN THE HALLWAY AND PEOPLE ARE STARING AT ME JDJSKSKSL

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HES BLUSHING SO HARD OMGGGGG

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

KEITH U LOOK AS RED AS UR JACKET

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

no I don't dhsjskskskks

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

GUYS HOLY SHIT LOTOR STRUCK AGAIN

 

_ anime weeb shiri (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

LOTOR TRIED TO SIT DOWN AND COMPLETELY MISSED THE CHAIR IM YELLINGKFKDKDKD

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GOD

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM WHEEZIHNFSNSJSKS

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

hES ARGUING WITH EZOR NOW FJDKSKSK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

EZOR JUST ROASTED HIM SJDJFJSKSK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

“basic Starbucks white girl lotor wants to place the blame on someone huh” IM CRYINGDJSJSJS

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IM KSKSKKSDKKDKF

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

KEITH OMFG GUESS FUCKING WHAT

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

SOMEONES EATINF A FUCKING CAN OF PEAS NEXT TO ME

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

WHO PUTS PEAS IN A CAN

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

shiro don't interact

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

cans are the more sensible option why don't u understand Keith

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

CANS ARE AN UNNECESSARY STRUGGLE, SHIRO

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

CAN OPENERS ARE FUCKING OVERRATED

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

WHY BOIL FROZEN SHIT WHEN YOU CAN JUST EAT IT STRAIGHT OUT OF A FUCKING CAN

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

EW SHIRO YOU HAVE TO COOK TJE FUCKINGJD PEA S

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I leave for five minutes and there's canned peas discourse

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

eat the raw peas, child

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

motherfucker I ain't eating that shit fuck outta here with ur can bullshit

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM WHEEZINGJDJDKD

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

Keith you weakass eat ur damn canned peas

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

bITCH IVE SEEN YOU PUT RANCH ON MACARONI AND CHEESE I LEGITIMATELY WILL NEVER TRUST YOU WITH ANY FOOD RELATED THING EVER

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

SHIRO DID W H A T

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

EHAT THE FUCKDKS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I feel,,, physically sick,,,

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

sHIRO HOW COULD YOU

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I mean I never did it again after that but like

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I thought it might work?

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

shiro its just like,,, double salt

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you literally do not make sense


	7. Chapter 7

Thursday 12:48 pm

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

what the fuck is a ‘handicapped chocolate’

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

that says hand dipped chocolate, babe

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

WHEEZINGJSJSJSJS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

okay I have slight dyslexia fuck off pidge

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

fuck Keith found the spaghetti aisle

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

THEY HAVE ANGEL HAIR PASTA

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

CILANTRO SAUCE

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I eat raw cereal

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

rAW CEREAL

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

r a w

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

RAW JDJSJSJDJSKKS

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

MEAT LOOPS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

IM YELLING

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

MEAT LOOPGJSSKS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

EAT UR MEAT LOOPS WITH SOME S A U C E

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

RAW MEAT LOOPS FOR P R O T E I N

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

laNCE IM WHEEZINGJDJSJS

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING TRIGONOMETRY NOT CHOKE ON MY OWN SPIT

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

TRIGONOMETRY IS FOR WUSSES

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

you take trigonometry, allura

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

no its called trigger-nometry because it triggers me when I don't understand shit

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

where did the sauce thing come from

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

uhhh

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I made a joke once after this spaghetti meme

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

‘Keith is lost in the sauce

as in lance’s sauce’

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

pIDGE WHAT THE FUCKXKDKA

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

IM SCREECHINGJDJSJSJS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

KEITH THEY HAVE FUCKING SWEDISH FISH

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

sWEDISH FISH DHSJSKSK WE'RE BUYING 20

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Y E S

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm at mcdinalds right now

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

m c d i n a l d s

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

aka the cafeteria that has an old mcdonalds soda machine that the school uses for drinks

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

DID YOU JUST DO THAT VINE WHERE THEY PRESS ALL THE SODA BUTTONS TAKE A SIP AND SAY FUCK YOU

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

yep

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

WHEEZINGJSKSKS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

for the love of god don't mix lemonade, fruit punch, 5 kinds of diet soda and root beer its horrible

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

now I'm tempted to do that

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

shiro I will personally slap you if you do

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

its only okay if you do it for the meme, not unironically mix drinks

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

spoiler alert if you mix alcohol you die

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

oh damn that's right @ thatmattcat do u have any wine

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

bitch we're like,, 18 of course not

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

well

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

beta omega theta might have some

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

who now

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

the fucking frat house a couple blocks away

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

legally you have to be 21 but the kids running the place generally don't give a shit so

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

not everyone just fucking skips a grade like you, Matt

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

‘look at my college ass’

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

granted ur ass is kinda hot

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

this is why shay avoids the hell out of this chat tbh

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

y'all are wild

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oh my god I forgot what 10 x 10 was and I put it into a calculator and I wanna kms now

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I'm a fucking idiot

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

:(

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

turn that frown upside down

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

):

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

Listen here you little shit-

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM CRYIGNDJJDJDS

 

_ anime weeb shiri (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

‘What is that’

‘Its a paper for freshmen’

‘I don't care about freshmen’

(90% of the class turns around)

‘I'm sorry I love you all’

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I just bullshitted an essay and I think it actually worked??

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

its ten pages f u ck me

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

g l a d l y

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

use protection

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm gonna cry

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

wAIT KEITH I HAVE A STORY

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OOO A STORY

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

so like

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

once I was taking a shit and I was really bored and staring at the door

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

and there was this gnat

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm crying where is this going

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

so like I noticed there was another gnat climbing toward it and I was like ‘aww they're buddies’

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

that's cute lol

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

and then they started fucking and I was like ‘really? right in front of my salad?’

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GOD

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I WAS WRONG IM LAUGHOGNDJSSK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

THAT WAS LIKE,, THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST IVE EVER SEEN

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

welcome to the show ‘Lance gets mildly inconvenienced by nature’

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

rip Lance’s innocence

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

ruined by tiny flies

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I'm suing

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I was taking a shit and they had the nerve, the audacity, to do that in front of me

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpicketpidge

I CANT BREATHE LMAO

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wait that reminds me

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

what

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

when I was really little I think I asked my mom ‘why don't I have a penis’

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I WHEEZED AND THE CASH REGISTER GUY GAVE ME A WEIRD LOOK DJDJKSSKKS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM YELLING OMGFJSKSKSKSS

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

CRYIGN OMG

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm cri

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

oh my god pidge remember that time you disguised yourself as a boy to get into boy scouts with us because you wanted to know how to tie knots and set fires

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oH YEAH THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

one of them scared you and you screamed and almost blew your cover

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

you were also hardcore pining for Keith

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

Djskskdjkdkdkdksksksk

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

shit u rite

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

you screeched at me for five minutes straight because Keith tied his hair back

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

so you have a thing for my hair? @ lanceylance

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

m a y b e

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

#exposed

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I saw you on the bus and

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I was in love

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I may or may not have snuck glances at you when you weren't looking

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I was highkey pining right off the bat

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm sorry to have an existential crisis at a time like this but where did ‘right off the bat’ even come from?

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

f u c k

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

no idea

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Sounds like a sports thing

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

jock allura strikes again

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I am not a- well maybe I am a jock

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

shut up

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

a l l u r a is a j o c k

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

dude ur an anime nerd

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

fuCK

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

AHAHAHAHA

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

well Keith’s some sort of nerd goth

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

hhhhhhhhhh

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM YELLING JSJDJDJSKSKSKKD

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

some guy opened the door to our classroom said ‘i wanna be a freshman again, looks like fun’ and then fuckin left

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

HDJJDJSKSKS ME THO

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

If I'm getting this right, Pidge is a freshman, Lance and Hunk are juniors, and Keith, coran, me, and Shiro are seniors, and matt’s overachiever ass is in college

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

pretty much

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

sHIRO NO DO NOT PUT WATER IN YOUR CEREAL

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

S H I R O

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

hOOO MY GOD HE DID IT

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

SHIRO WHYYY

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I didn't have milk

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

tHAT MEANS YOU EAT IT PLAIN NOT DUMP MY WATER BOTTLE IN IT

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

well if u weren't going to drink it I was

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I don't know you

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

who is this stranger sitting next to me

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

he looks like a dumbass

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

h e y

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I'm wheezingndhdhjs Keith calm down

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

hfjfjdksls f i n e

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

what the fuck I can't even get him to calm down how did you

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

its called ‘I'd do anything for Lance’

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

wAIT REALLY

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

DOES THAT MEAN U WOULD PET A DOG

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm sCARED OF DOGS DJDKSKSSK

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

yOURE SCARED OF DOGS W H A T

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

f u c k

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I wouldn't make you do that, but theoretically would you

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

probably

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I got bit by a dog when I was five and I had to get stitches so that's why I don't deal with dogs anymore

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

there was also that time a dog dragged me into a curb and I almost broke my nose, so the foundation was already shaky tbh

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

damn I'm gonna fight those dogs for being mean to u

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

big mood

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GOD GUYS THE TEACHER HAS A CHIHUAHUA PUPPY IN HER ARMS AND I DIDNT NOTICE WTF

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

SHE HAS A WHAT

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

ITS KIND OF C U T E

 

_ Spicy boi Keith (@garrisoncryptid) sent a photo. _

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

OH M Y G O D ITS ADORABLEEE

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

AWWWWWW

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

tHAT IS THE ONLY DOG IM OKAY WITH

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

it didn't bark at me or bite me when I tried to pet it

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

laNCE CAN WE ADOPT THIS DOG

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I wanna,,, pet it,,

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oH MY GOD IT BARKED AT SHIRO WHEN HE GOT CLOSE LANCE WE NEED TO ADOPT IT

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

IT KNOWS SHIRO DOES WEIRD SHIT WITH FOOD JFKSKDKFJDK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

hey at least I didn't put meat in jello like they did when they figured out how to ship food

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

this is science class I don't want your history-ass bullshit

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

mY TEACHER IS PISSING ME OFF DHSJKSLS SHE SAYS GOD CONTROLS SCIENCE

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I WILL FIGHT HER

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

COME AT ME BRO U AINT GONNA MAKE RELIGION SCIENCE IN MY HOUSE

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

YOURE MESSING WITH ULTIMATE SCIENCE NERD HERE DJDJSKD I WOULD HAVE SKIPPED LIKE FOUR GRADES IF I WASNT SO AVERAGE AT LIKE EVERY OTHER SUBJECT

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

god Keith ur in honors classes shut up with ur average bs ur ass is smart

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

aww thanks babe <3

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Y E S HE DID THE HEART I FINALLY GOT HIM TO DO THE HEART

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

You know my heart already belongs to you

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

Lance blushed really hard and swooned and now I know why

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

how the heck are you like this

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

keiths always been a hopeless romantic, a couple years ago before the squad formed I would hear him sigh and daydream about the type of things he’d say if he ever found his true love

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

W H A T

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM BACK DJDJJSKA

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

also Keith is best boyfriend I love him and his adorable freckles and his bright violet eyes

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

ahshdjsjsksksdjfjdjkd

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

KEITH IS SO FLUSTERED DJSJSJSSK

 

_ anime weeb shiri (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

as narrator I take responsibility for this

Shiro: Keith is flustereddd

Keith: get the camera out of my face I'm busy being gay

Shiro: awwwhahaha

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

thank god for the narration since I can't watch videos in class fjdkskdkf

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

technically I'm not even supposed to be on my phone g o t t a b l a s t

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

AAAAA I LOVE MY BLUSHY BOYFRIENDDD

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HONESTLY IVE NEVER SEEN HIM THAT RED BEFORE IM WHEEZINGNDJSJS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

oh shit my teacher spotted me sHES GONNA ASK QUESTIONS IM DOOMED GOTTA BLAST HDJDJKSAK

  
  


Thursday 1:32 pm

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

yo the teacher ships klance

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

FJJDKDKDFFJDKSSJDK


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit my life got rekt by school this week has been utterly insane djdjsksk
> 
> anywayyy I'm back with another update sorry it took so long lmao

Friday 11:29 am

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

guess who's back

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

back again

 

_ Shay (@heyyitsshayy) has joined the chat. _

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

THE ULTIMATE CRYPTID IS BACKDJJDJDKS

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

HIIIIII

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

S H A Y

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

WHATS UP FAM

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

ITS SHAYYYY

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oH RIGHT ITS FRIDAY

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

AND ITS UR TURN TO PLAN THE EVENT

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

H Y P E

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

I have three words

 

**Shay** @heyitsshayy

shopping cart race

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

Y E S

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I 10000000% SUPPORT THIS

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

there is literally so many ways that could go wrong bUT THEN AGAIN I JUMPED OFF FIVE BLEACHERS IN PE SO

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you what

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

*sweats* the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

Im not entirely sure what just happened

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

don't worry nothing makes sense here

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oh damn I almost got myself into an existential crisis

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oh god the last time you had an existential crisis everyone thought the world was going to end

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

20 fucking 12

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

*cue dramatic music*

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

no but literally everyone was freaking out about the world ending and then it didn't end and everyone immediately went to pretending nothing happened

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

2012 was wild tbh

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I HAVE AN IDEA TO CONTRIBUTE TO SHOPPING CART RACE

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

shoot

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

add in uno cards so like whoever wins the race gets to place a card and whoever wins the card game gets their favorite food or drink

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

Y E S

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

FUCKIN BEST THING IVE EVER HEARD

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM SO HYPEDDDD

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

O SHIT IDEA

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

OOO PLZ TELL

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

add in a relay race component so once someone sets down a card the people pushing the carts switch so theyre in the cart

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

fuCK THIS IS THE BEST GAME WE NEED IT LIKE TWICE A MONTH

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I love you @ garrisoncryptid

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I love you too @ lanceylance

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

I KNEW IT WAS CANON BUT I DIDNT KNOW THEYRE THIS COUPLE-Y DHDHJDJSKSK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I share a bus with them and they're even worse there

 

_ anime weeb shiri (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

hOLY SHIT WHEN DID YOU RECORD THAT

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

lance made a screeching sound what happen

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

shiro got a video of Keith and Lance cuddling on the bus and arguing about who loves the other the most

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

o o f

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I just remembered in musical theater Lance did one of the dance jump things into Keith's arms and Keith dipped down and kissed him

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

the sophomores were all watching because we were on stage practicing

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oh I remember that, someone yelled ‘gayyyy’ and clapped

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

wait shit really I was too distracted kissing you

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

oH MY GOD GUYS

 

_ anime weeb shiri (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

DID HE JUST

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

LOTOR WALKED INTO A WALL IM CRYINDJSJHSN

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I AM TRYING S O HARD NOT TO LAUGH AND I JUST MADE THIS WEIRD NOISE HELP

  
  
  
  


Friday 3:27 pm

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

WHAT TEAM

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

WILDCATS

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

jk im on team klance

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

tEAM KLANCEEEE

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

TEAM KLANCE

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

TEAM SHATT

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm wheezing

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiri

TEAM S H A T T

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

TEAM SHATT

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

TEAM CARD MONITOR

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

TEAM KLANCE

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

TEAM SHATT

 

**Coran** @coranicmanic

teams are as follows

(Team Klance)

-Keith

-Lance

-Allura

-Pidge

(Team Shatt)

-Matt

-Shiro

-Coran

-Hunk

(Card/Cart Monitor)

-Shay

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

YEEEEEEEEEEE

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

quick ground rules

-no hand to hand combat (tripping is okay)

-if you crash into the wall, you draw two cards

-caffeine is a no-go until the game ends

-no throwing groceries or objects

-you must wear swim goggles if you're inside the cart

-don't ram carts into people (other carts are okay)

-no pushing if inside cart

-bandages are kept by me

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

good luck guys!!

  
  


Friday 3:48 pm

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

okay its too hard

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

that's not what you said last night

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

kEITH WE HAVENT EVEN HAD-

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

OH MY GOD

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

JJDJFDIDIODKDKDKSKDKS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

IM YELLIGNDHSJSJFJFKSK

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

OMG

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

WHAT THE HEAHDJDKSKSK

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

DAAAMMMNNN KEITH IS SMOOTH LMAOO

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

WHO RUINED MY INNOCENT BROTHER

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

IM SCREECHFINSGSGSJSDK

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

wink wink motherfuckers

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

WHEEZINGJFJSJSKDKSFK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

ohmygod they're making out in front of the food 

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

you didn't even win why do you care

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I c a r e about your h e a l t h

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

You're such a dad wtf

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

jfjfksskskskdddfkdk

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Mmm whatcha saaaayyyy

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oooo that you only meant welllll

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

well of course you diiiiddd

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

Its ya boi ｇｌｉｔｔｅｒｄｉｃｋ

 

**Spicy boi Keith** @garrisoncryptid

gLITTERDICK IM CRYDHSBDHSJS

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

I CANT BREATHRHDHSJSK

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

OH MY GOHSHSKSKSKA

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

kEITH OMG IFMJDJDJDKDKD

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

S P A R E ME DKDKKSS

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

what have I started

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

Idk but its not as bad as the boneless waterlemon meme

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

i

 

**Lance Lance Revolution** @lanceylance

w a t e r l e m o n

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I can e x p l a i n

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

can u

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

HDJDJKSKSKDD

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I can't eat my fucking fries because I can't stop laughingddjdksls

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

plz donate them to me

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

no you didn't win the shopping cart race fuck off

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

lmao get fukt

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

keithhh I want a kisssssss

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

shit wrong chat

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

#exposed

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oh ym god

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

On second thought shiro you can have some fries

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

fuCK YEAH

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

in pe I got hit with a ball, a glove, and almost got kicked in the face

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

w h a t

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

o h shit I broke my water bottle and it spilled all over my shoe

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

my sock is wet this is horrible

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I ran in front of the ball at the wrong time and I got hit in the leg lmao and then someone threw a glove at me expecting me to catch it and someone was swinging from the roof of the metal thing and came two inches from kicking me in the face

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

o o f

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

also rip allura

death by wet sock

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

you know it just sounds wrong when you say it

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm cryignfjdkskslss

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

DID SOMEONE FALL OFF THEIR SEAT AND SOMEONE ELSE PLAYED THE ROBLOX DEATH SOUND

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

IM WHEEZIGHFDJSJSKSK

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

o o f

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oof

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

o o F

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

OOF

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I wanna cry but I'm d e h y d r a t e d

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

The secret to having a good cry every day is hydration

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

I personally drink three waters a day

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncrypti

how much is a ‘water’

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

drink three waters

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

shiro I am this close to fighting you

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

ur fingers are touching

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

exactly

 

_ waterlemon Lance (@lanceylance) sent a video. _

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Keith runs hella fast rip shiro in about negative three seconds

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

rip shiri

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

rip

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

will be missed

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

throwback to three weeks ago when we all made spaghetti together

 

_ glitterdick Keith (@garrisoncryptid) sent a video. _

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

‘Oh shit I forgot the meatball’

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

‘yOU FORGOT THE MEATBALL’

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

‘HOW DO YOU FORGET A MEATBALL’

 

**Hunk G.** @officialhunk

‘YOU NEED THE MEATBALL’

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

‘YOU CANT HAVE IT WITHOUT THE MEATBALL’

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

‘THE FUCKIGNA MEATBALAL’

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

*all screaming*

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

ah fuck I survived

 

**anime weeb shiri** @spacedadshiro

and, for your information, three waters is three glasses of water

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

See if you just said that instead of repeating ‘waters’ I would understand and I wouldn't fight you, assjack

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

It gets worse ‘assjack’ I'm cryigndjsksks

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

what's up fuckers

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

IM YELLINGKDKSKK

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I just spit out a fucking pickle I'm dyingkdks

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'd count losing a pickle as a win tho

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

wHAT PICKLES ARE GOOD KEITH WTF

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oh no I'm not going to go through the pickle war of 2011 again

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

FUCK IM DATING SOMEONE THAT LIKES PICKLES DKSKKSKSKS

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

IM DATING SOMEONE WHO DOESNT LIKE PICKLES WH

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

I never understood ur pickle fear Keith

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

YOUR OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT IS NOT VALID BECAUSE YOU LIKE EATING PEAS FROM A CAN

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

this my friends is the apocalypse, everyone's yelling and screaming and Lance threw a pickle at Keith and Keith is screeching

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

L A N C E I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU PUT ALL THOSE PICKLES YOU PICKED OUT OF UR BURGER IN MY HAIR I WILL FUCK YOU

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

FIGHT****

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I MEANT FIGHT ISJSJSKSKSSKRKD

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

sureeee

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

pretend you don't want a piece of this ass

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

LANCE OMG

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I wanna cry but I accidentally used pepper instead of glitter in my makeup and its gonna sting like hell if I do

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

SLEEP DEPRIVATION

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

lance stop throwing pickles at me djskksksls

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

you must try one

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

n o

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

try one (1)

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

n O

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

you haven't had one in 14+ years we need a new opinion

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

here we see a rare Keith eating a pickle slice

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

before eating, he pokes the slice suspiciously

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

he doesn't want to eat pickle

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

come onnn it'll be fineee

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

if its not fine you can throw the pickle at shiro

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

H E Y

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OH MY GOD HES DOING IT

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

two seconds later he just spits it out and chugs water I'm cryinfjjejsjsks

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

hhhhhh never again

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

well you tried at least

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

rip Keith, death by pickle

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

again, that sounds wrong


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fu c k voltron season four is tOMORROW I'm losing my sh i t

Saturday 12:28 pm

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

sometimes,, like, i think about how fucking cool it would be if i could just fight a school shooter or some shit with a fucking pen and a laptop and win

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

im mildly concerned

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Oh my god i think about that sort of shit daily like if there was someone trying to attack me just sucker punch them in the face and they’d be ko’d on the ground

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

Im genuinely kind of scared of you guys

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

Id like to fight someone with a fucking pen

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

What the fuck why fight someone with a pen when you can use a plastic knife

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

even better, a plastic spork

 

**Matt (not a doormat)** @thatmattcat

Fuck yeah

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

Damn now all we need is someone to fight us

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Uh lets n o t

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

someone comes at you with a gun and you have a spork, you ded

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

Personally I wouldn’t risk it

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

You dont understand clearly this is a win win

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

If you die, you win, and if you live, you’re a hero so you win

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

exactly

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

my house is boring rn does anyone wanna invite me to something or deadass just come to my house

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

I'll be right there

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I guess I have nothing better to do so I'll go

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm going too then

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

oof I have a spelling bee today so I can't go sorry

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

a spelling bee?

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

yeah, its for the elementary school, I'm a judge

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oh that's cool, I remember in elementary I went to all the spelling bees except for the ones past fourth and fifth grade

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I won the one in third grade, against the fourth and fifth graders

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

holy shit you really are an overachiever fuckin teach me ur ways

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

no you don't wanna know

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Why?

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

the only reason I did well back then was because I had no friends

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oof that's rough buddy

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

Elementary schoolers are honestly mean :/

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

one of my only memories from that time is a group rejecting me

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I will personally fight that group,, fuckin 1v1 me behind dennu’s

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

my typo comes back to haunt me

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

d e n n u ‘ s

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

this is cyberbullying

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I love youuuu

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

f u c k I love you too

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

fjsdkfjskdjfskdf

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

What’s happen

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

a fucking tree branch just hit me in the face while i was trying to scroll through tumblr

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

I told you scrolling while walking is dangerous, even in a well-lit space

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

fuck off

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

‘Well-lit’

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

no chill

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

s t o p

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wheezingjdjssjskfks

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

lmaooo jdsjksakal

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

hey remember when the lunch monitor told us off for leaving a mess on the table when it wasn't us and we left the table spotless except for one apple because we wanted to be passive-aggressive

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oh my god I remember

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

I think we got kicked out of the upstairs cafeteria

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

w h a t

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

she legit just said to me ‘find somewhere else to eat’

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm gonna 1v1 her fiGHT ME

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

wait guys if she finds out it wasn't us we can hold it over her head forever and rightfully have our spot back

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

wow I didn't know you had an evil plan in you shiro

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

spending five years around you probably did that

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

granted, you've only had two evil plans its mostly pidge that has them all

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

mmmmm I can't argue with that its true

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

yo yo yo guess who's at ur houseee

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

h e l l yeah

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I'm gonna bet like 30 bucks I'm gonna arrive at Keith’s house and Keith and Lance will be making out

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I just got there and I can confirm

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

o o p s

 

**Shay** @heyyitsshayy

I just saw two ambulances pass by the school and one honked to say hi to the group but three people just yell ‘we get it’

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Keith

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Keith

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Keith

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Keith

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

yes, love?

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

can I has another kiss

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

of course

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you can have all the kisses

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

that's adorable??? I'm gonna vomit???

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

please d o n t @ hotpocketpidge

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I'm literally right next to you

  
  
  


Monday 9:36 am

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

okay but

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

have you ever seen an echidna

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

i mean, i guess

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

is that like, a plant??

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

its a type of anteater but it has spikes

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

wh

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

no but earlier I searched up echidnas on Google and I scroll down and see a video titled ‘echidna penises are terrifying’

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A VIDEO

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

WHAT THE FUCKKDHSJJSKS

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

what the actual fuck is going on

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

remind me to search it later

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

write it down on ur paper

 

_ waterlemon Lance (@lanceylance) sent a photo. _

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

you see how this could go wrong, right

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

no?

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

what if I have to turn this in

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

“why does your paper say ‘echidna dick’”

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

jdudjdjdkskekd what have I started

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

the apocalypse

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I mean I wouldn't be surprised if the world just ended because of you people

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

h e y

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I am aware that I am problematic

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

at least you have one brain function

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you know what square up behind target 1v1

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

Keith no

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

oH MY GOD THE TEACHER JUST SAW MY PAPER

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

rest in peace, my reputation

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

your reputation was already in pieces

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

you know what

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

2v1

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

aaaaand you pissed off the boyfriends, rip pidge

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

20 feet underground

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

fu c k

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

time to uh, hide in my locker

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

was roasting everyone worth it

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

well

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

um

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

yes

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'm taking away your Swedish fish privileges

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

wait no

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

no please I need Swedish fish to help me pull an all nighter don't do this to me

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I'll give ur privileges back for one (1) grilled cheese sandwich

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

a gRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHDHSJS

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

my f a vo r it e

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

its part of my master plan

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

-acquire grilled cheese sandwich

-trade grilled cheese sandwich to Lance for kisses

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

oh my god you actually made this a step by step plan

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

I'm cryingndjs

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I was originally going to refuse but I'll give you the sandwich

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

totally not because I want you and lance to kiss

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

you want me and Lance to kiss?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

FORGET I SAID ANYTHING JUST MEET ME AT SENATOR SQUARE FOR THE SANDWICH

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

YOU SH I P IT TOO

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oooooooOOoOOOOOoOO

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

b u s t e d

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

fu c k

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

rest in peace sis

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

you exposed urself

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

shut upppp

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

it must run in the family though, you tried to keep your crush on Shiro a secret and then you blurt ‘you look hot’ at a school dance

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

the Holt family is bad at secrets

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

I would argue if it wasn't fucking true

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

Keith lied to me for five years saying the garbage disposal was fixed and then I had to use it when I threw up in the sink only to find out

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

the garbage disposal wasn't fucking fixed

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I didn't really want to make you mad that I didn't fix it because I was broke so I kind of kept it a secret I'm sorry

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

Keith, I would have lent you money if you said so

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

but you said debt is bad and to never be in debt

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

it wouldn't be debt because we’re family and families share money, especially when shit breaks

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

its okay though, you didn't know

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I have

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I have a faMILY

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

I'm sobbing this is beautiful

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

also @ garrisoncryptid we’re your family too, alright? All of us are your family

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

yeah! You won't be alone as long as we’re here

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

sign me the fuck up you'd have to be a dumbass not to want to be part of Keith’s life

 

_ assjack shiri (@spacedadshiro) sent a video. _

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

sorry for ruining the moment but lotor just yelled ‘chicken nugget fucker’ in the hallway and I had to share

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

iM WHEEZINGJDJSJRJF

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

LMAO

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm cryinghdhjdjfje

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

also the people in front of me are having a conversation about hurricanes but its fucking hilarious

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

‘I s2g I'm moving to hurricane land’

‘just lose ur entire house in a hurricane like oh that's unfortunate’

‘four hurricanes sign me the fuck up I'm ready for death’

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

most relatable shit I've ever seen

 

**waterlemon Lance** @lanceylance

hurricane katrina more like hurricane keithtrina

 

**glitterdick Keith** @garrisoncryptid

i

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

well

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

oh ym god

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

all we need now is a tornado, an earthquake, and a uh, idk

 

**Allura** @alluracrown

s2g you probably just accidentally started a hellstorm of natural disasters somewhere

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

I personally am a natural disaster

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

same

 

**assjack shiri** @spacedadshiro

yOUR NAME

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

I saw the opportunity and I took it

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

hfjfjfjfksodkfjfkff

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

I literally

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

I just found out how to

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

change my fucking user fjjfdjdjfjjdkskfjfdk

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

yo u didn't k n o w?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I am

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

so shook

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

I didn't w an t to say anything because i would inevitabl y look like a d u m b a s s

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

relatable

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

you're still cooler than this entire group @ alluracrown

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

o H SHIT I JUST HEARD MY HOT POCKET EXPLODE IN THE TEACHER’S MICROWAVE HOLD ON

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

THW HOT POCKEUTHTJFJDS

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

N O


	10. Chapter 10

__

Tuesday 1:27 am

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

holy sh i t what's the theme of Dracula I fuckin g never read the book and the es s a y is due today @ alluracrown

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

kEI T H ITS 1 AM

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

well I didn't wanna wake up Lance, and Shiro and Matt are probably making out in their college dorm so

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

plea s e help

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

u n d e r pressurE

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

pushin g down on you

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

pushing do w n on me

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

whatever the rest of the words are

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

what are you doing up?

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

stalking your Instagram

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

I mEAN EATING LEAVES

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

hwat the fuck i hate eating leaves

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

I'm not entirely sure where I am right now

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

Lance, sweetie, go to sleep

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

n o one more thing before I sleep

 

_ Sharknado Lance (@lanceylance) sent a link. _

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

that website has all the book summaries its how I bullshit all my essays any w a y good luck babe I love you

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

djjdjdjsjkdjjjdkdkfkkfkskdkr

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

looks like you got this I'm gonna uh sleep now so good night and don't fucking @ me until 6 okay

 

_ Landslide Allura (@alluracrown) is offline. _

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

Keith why do you have a collection of those plastic knives that keep olives on sandwiches

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

It's a school night, Blueberry

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

get some rest?

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

I gotta finish a word puzzle and I got distracted

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

the best words I found was ‘aaah’ and ‘fudge’

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

they aren't even in the wor d list

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

?

??

?

oh worm?

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

S H I R O NO DONT BRING THAT BAC K

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

o h w o r m ?

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

I hate myself but

 

_ Hurricane Keithtrina (@garrisoncryptid) sent a photo. _

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

IS THAT 

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

IM LAUGINHDHSJD IT S THE BASSBOOSTED EMOJI FROM THE VID E O

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

O H W O R M ??

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I hate you all

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I thought we agreed never to speak of that

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

oh worm?

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

M A T T

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

it returns

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

n o we overused this in middle school s t o p

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

?

??

?

_ oh worm? _

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) is offline. _

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

I'm laughijbfdgjjg

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

I just chugged a glass of chocolate milk mixed with instant coffee and I feel a l i v e

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

yo what the fuck

  
  


Tuesday 6:46 am

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

its ya boi clinical depression

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

what's up fuckers

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

aaaaayyyyyeeeeeeooooo

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

guess what

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

????

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

you know my twin, kuron

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

the one that ate my fucking skittles?

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

yeah that was me

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

aNYWAY

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

W H A T I THOUGHT THAT WA S KURON

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

Kuron’s back in town, he's trying to get a job at target or smth idk

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

so I gave him the code for this chat

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

oh my god

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

remember when Keith dabbed in front of target and a car honked and he tripped over his own foot and fell on Lance

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GO D

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

yes one of my best memories

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

Becaus e I got to see Keith’s beautiful eyes up close

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

jDSLJGLKALDSHKFHl

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

d e c e a s e d

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

I walked in the apartment bc i forgot my backpack and Keith is hardcore blushing im laughsifjhgkadfh

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

SH I T O STOP OUTING ME

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

jdslhfdhkjhdhld;

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

so my nicknames include takashit, shito, shiri, and shiregano

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

when was the shiregano thing again

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

matt was drunk and couldn’t spell my last name when he was trying to write his job recommendation letter for my mock interviews last year

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

I STILL HAvE THE FUC KUIN G LETT E R

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

N O FUCKING WAY HO W

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

my hoarding instincts kicked in as soon as you threw it in the trash, and i took it once you left the room

 

_ Hurricane Keithtrina (@garrisoncryptid) sent a photo. _

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

OMFG

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

“hire my frien d plea s e he is good boi and has huge-ass muscles like holy shit have you sern him he is mmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMmm”

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

“Taakaaashiii shiregano is sma r t and my fuckiN>GN BOYFRIGND”

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY G O D SHiRO YOU SAID YOU FOUND OUT HIS FEELINGS THROUGH LETTER WAS THIS THE ON E

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

FU C K

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GO D IT IS IM YELLINGJKSDGFKLADSLTGJ

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

JDJSGHKDSJHKSFHJGL

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

IM CRYIDSNDSHKFJADSG

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

The end paragraph literally says ‘i lovev skiro’ im cryinaskjdgnjsl

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

oh my god there was this one time on my birthday i got drunk on soda and pidge, keith, and i got ‘drunk married’ and i s2g we all were so sleep deprived we were like ‘yeahhh buddies’ and when we woke up we were like ‘dude are we married’

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

I cried into a pizza reading our text messages afterwards

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

You thrEE GOT MAR R I E D

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

‘drunk married’ which means pLATONIC, ACCIDENTAL, AND THERE WERE NO RIN G S

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

or was there? ;) ;)

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

N O FUCK YOU SOGGY FRUIT LOOPS DONT COUNT

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

keith omg u couldnt remember which finger was the marriage one so u put a red fruit loop on ur pinky fing e r

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

NO SHUT THE UP FUCK

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

WH A T THE HECC THATS ADOR ABL E 

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

this is why i dont do sleepovers anymore

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

sure whatever you say fruit loop husband

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

BOI IF YOU DONT-

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

OH MY GO D

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

IM LAUGHISNSJHFJDSKKDF

  
  


Tuesday 8:37 am

 

_ Kuron (@clonebitchkuron) has joined the chat. _

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

O SHIT WADDUP ITS MY TWI N

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

XD

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

HOL Y FUCK I HAVENT SEEN ‘XD’ SINCE SEVENTH GRADE

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

IM CRYISJEHDJKFKSD

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

IM GETTING FLASHBACKSJSJFDDJ

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

ex dee

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

LANC E SJGKSKADKFKFPFSKD

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

so I might be crashing at shiro’s brother’s house

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

my house?

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

O H ITS KEITH I REMEMBER YOU

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

HOW’S SHIT GOING

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

good! How’s ur shit haircut??

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

I thouGHT WE WERE OVER THIS

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

lmao but seriously how are you

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

going good I guess, I'm getting a job at the target here hopefully

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

like, the north target or the south target

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

there's a south target?

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

okay good, the south target sucks

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

What the fuck do you mean, the south target has POPCORN

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

literally all the targets have popcorn

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

shiri important question

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

shoot

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

have u even been to the north target

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

...no

 

**Sharknado Lance** @lanceylance

OH MY G O D

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

SGJDFHJFFHJGDHH

 

**Hurricane Keithtrina** @garrisoncryptid

YOU S E E MY P O I N T

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

shiro how dare u

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

u haven't been to either target yet

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

but I've chosen a side

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

...fine that's valid

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

I will fight u shiro

 

**dust storm shiri** @spacedadshiro

you know what

 

**[South Target] Shiri** @spacedadshiro

try me keith

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

yOU WANNA GO

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

2v1 @ spacedadshiro

 

**[South Target] Shiri** @spacedadshiro

@ thatmattcat BACK ME UP

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

shit what are we arguing about

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

uhhhhh north target sucks, south target is gr8

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

I'm gonna go cry over my geography textbook by e

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

MATT YOU ASSHOLE

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

WE HAD A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

yes, but shiro owns my ass

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

except I will fight him if he takes my fucking caramel dip

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

and a couple other things but

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

relatable, I'd let Keith step on me

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

what

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

nothing

 

**Spork Dealer Matt** @thatmattcat

that's kinky

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

oh my god guys someone accidentally swung the hockey stick too hard in pe and it flew across the room and hit Lotor

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I didn't get the part where the stick actually hit him but I got the part with him screeching and holding his leg

 

_ Pidge-Kitten (@hotpocketpidge) sent a video. _

 

**[South Target] Shiri** @spacedadshiro

LMAO

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

OH MY GO D

 

**Kuron** @clonebitchkuron

IM SHOOK

 

**Landslide Allura** @alluracrown

wait idea

 

**Hockey Stick Allura** @alluracrown

yeet

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

djfjdkajfkkdsk

 

**Pidge-Kitten** @hotpocketpidge

I'm gonna see if I regret this

 

**yeet bois its Pidge** @hotpocketpidge

mmmm

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

oh my god its been two years you finally changed your username

 

**yeet bois its Pidge** @hotpocketpidge

shut the fuck up I'm lazy

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

if you hear semi evil laughter in the distance that's me

 

**yeet bois its Pidge** @hotpocketpidge

that isn't even fucking evil its like a kitten

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

NO ITS NO T

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

IF ANYTHING ITS A LION

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

a baby lion who's adorable

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

LANCEEEEE I THOUGHT U WERE ON MY SIDE

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

you love me

 

**[North Target] Keith** @garrisoncryptid

mmmmm that's true

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

skdkfklslefjjelakejslakdkkfkslsfk

 

**[North Target] Lance** @lanceylance

de c e a s e d

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this is so fun lmao
> 
> please drop a comment or a kudos, I live for validation :3
> 
> I love all nyall


End file.
